we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
