Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and she was petting her beer can
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
