Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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