This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
