i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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