That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
