Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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