You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
