Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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