I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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