How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
