Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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