I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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