His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
