i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
