This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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