Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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