Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
