I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
