Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
