Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
