people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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