All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
