and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
