i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
