is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
