Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I will die if light touches me.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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