Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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