you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
