so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
