I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
