What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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