I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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