There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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