Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
