8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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