This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Randomize