I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
this just has baby written all over it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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