New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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