It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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