found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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