Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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