so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
