she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
