I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
