Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Actions speak louder than pants.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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