There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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