Sponge bath it is.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
