Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize