Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
do nipples grow back?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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