I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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