During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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