He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize