She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
