I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
