I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
