I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
