I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
