Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
