uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just cut my nipple shaving
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Randomize
