whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize