she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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