his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
