Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
