Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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