everyone is single if you try hard enough
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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