I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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