I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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