The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
