whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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