This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
