Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
