Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
