: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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