I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
