he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
