My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Let's get the cat blown out
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
